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Lie to me,
Tell me no truth,
this heart is cracked enough,
It's broken and scarred,
blood's seeping through,
the last truth was enough.

Lie to me,
Make this heart smile,
Watch it lest it frown,
Selfish expressions
of love and war,
Might send it spiraling down.

Lie to me,
Let your lips wander,
stray from words that hurt.
Leave my brain to ponder,
Useless ideas floating everywhere,
Useless, crazy ideas.

Lie to me,
Tell me you love me,
Tell me that you care.
Then watch your lies
nibble at my soul,
watch them throw me to despair.
Entry for the "Truth is Hard" poetry contest for :iconlove-literature:

I'm excited about this. :3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcait-cait93:
This is a lovely poem. It has a nice flow, going from idea to idea fluidly without leaving the reader pausing and trying to catch up. The words are simple, and yet hold much weight, allowing the mind to wander and touch on different emotions while staying connected to the poem.

I'd say maybe you could separate the sentences with different punctuation, to enhance the words better. For instance, you could have said:

..this heart is cracked enough;
It's broken and scarred..

Just to give a bit more pause and meaning to the words. This is, however, a very well written poem, regardless. Great job ^^
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconlonely-insomniac:
Lonely-Insomniac Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A better entry than mine :)
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well I guess we'll see at the end of the contest. ;) Thanks, though. :D
Reply
:iconlonely-insomniac:
Lonely-Insomniac Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
heehee ;)
Reply
:iconthedarkenedbride:
TheDarkenedBride Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
it's really nice, good luck on the contest :)
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :3
Reply
:iconthedarkenedbride:
TheDarkenedBride Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem :iconllamacopterplz:
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Professional Writer
Excellent poetry... :wow:
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh. Thank you. ;-;
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Professional Writer
Most welcome... :w00t:
Reply
:iconnaruandpokefan:
Naruandpokefan Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012
Im looking through my deviantwatch but post any poems you have on my club~
Ill bet they're good :D
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Way to advertise. ;D I consider this to be one of my worst, actually. I'll post some in a bit? :D
Reply
:iconnaruandpokefan:
Naruandpokefan Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012
xD No this one is good~
I post a lot~
A lot less work if someone tries xD
Reply
:iconnaruandpokefan:
Naruandpokefan Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012
You'll win Maaah~
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my God, do you really think so? ;-;
Reply
:iconnaruandpokefan:
Naruandpokefan Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012
Yesh!!!
YOSH!! IF I WERE THE JUDGE THERE'D BE A 96% I WOULD PICK YOU HELL YEAH > : D
xD
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OHMYGODSUCHNICEWORDS. ;-; Thanks! What about the other 4%? xD
Reply
:iconnaruandpokefan:
Naruandpokefan Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012
xD Idk. A friend of mine said there's a 96% chance I wouldn't die if I waited until Friday for her fanfiction.
(it was a Thursday, last week)
Reply
:iconcristalia09usagi:
cristalia09usagi Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Student Writer
With this poem, you'll win for sure :D
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I hope so. ;-;
Reply
:iconcristalia09usagi:
cristalia09usagi Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2012  Student Writer
i know so~
Reply
:iconhoybuboy:
hoybuboy Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there, nice work. Simple words yet I can feel the emotions you want to convey. Very easy to relate to. Found myself telling, "yeah I know how you feel" after each stanza.

Good luck on your contest! :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconichrno:
iChrno Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! It's the first contest I've entered so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to write with the restraints of a theme.

Thank you, I hope I do well. ;-;
Reply
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January 16, 2012
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